Sunday, December 9, 2007

a break

I couldn't help myself with the topic of this post: a break from school. Currently, this blog is serving as a not-so-deserving break away from studying for finals. I've just begun to study for my neuroanatomy & physiology class. But, I can't complain. My first semester of grad school has not roughed me up too much. Yes, I've never been busier, and it's no cake walk. But, I've made it through the first semester of grad school. That's an accomplishment in itself. And, I've really tried not to let being a grad student define me as a person, but I think I've failed at that. It really does determine my mood, my emotions, my life. Sad.

There are times that I joke with a fellow SLP grad student about other career paths I should have pursued. Photographer, graphic designer, pastry chef, editor, wedding coordinator, movie critic, an entrepreneur... the list grows. Then, my friend and I both know there is a piece of seriousness to my desire to do something different. Ha. Thinking of changing my "major" now? No.

There are pieces of my "job" I love. I love the counseling aspect of therapy... the exposure to the families dealing with whatever they may dealing with. It's amazing how clients' families look to you for answers to their vast questions, as if you are the expert. In my mind, I'm thinking "Don't they know I'm only twenty-three? Don't they know I'm only a student?" as I'm pulling from every corner of my brain that's packed with random lists and tidbits of knowledge that may or may not answer their questions. And then, they look at me as if I have done a satisfactory job at putting their mind at ease, at least for the moment. Wow. Maybe I do know more than I thought. Okay, I can do this.

So, I suppose I'll stick with it (likeihaveachoice). I guess I'm trying to say that I don't know anyone who is entirely happy with their career. Actually, I know more people who hate their career than like it. But, if we keep going through life not knowing what we want to do, I suppose we'll never get anywhere. Not being good at anything, really. I've begun this thought process primarily due to my husband. He has no idea what he wants to do with his life... he just knows he doesn't want to do what he is currently doing. So, at what point do we settle into a career and decide that yes, the career is not ideal, but it is something that can bring us to be successful and at least content? I guess my practical and realistic side tells me that I will finish grad school, become certified and licensed, and be a speech pathologist. And, yes, there will be aspects of the job I hate. But, it will help me to create a lifestyle that will be comfortable and probably make me happy.

So, I continue on. After the holiday break.