Sunday, August 23, 2009

Thoughts on Death

Don't be deceived by the title of this post. It's not meant to be overly-morbid.

Today was absolutely beautiful outside. It was blue-sky-with-big-puffy-clouds-kinda-perfect. Those kind of days make you slow down and breathe a little deeper.

I found out my grandma is close to death today. Estimates of her living are anywhere between 2 to 3 hours or 2 days. Her eyes are glazing over, which I guess is the first sign death is near. She can still hear everything, but hearing is also the last thing to go.

I was never close to my grandma (or any grandparents, for that matter). But the news of her quickly-approaching death got me thinking about death in general. I sat outside for a couple of hours today; staying inside just seemed unappreciative to Mother Nature. As I looked up at the fluffy clouds and ocean blue sky, I hoped my grandmother would die on a day like today. That sounds really bad, but I mean it in the best way possible. I imagined her broken-down body lying in a nursing home, and that image just seemed so bleak. It made me happier to think of her spirit leaving her body and ascending into the marvelously perfect sky to rest with the marshmallow clouds.

Death, for the most part, is usually celebrated in shades of black and grey. But, I don't want my death that way. I don't want hymns at my funeral. I want jazz music. And I want to die on a day like today, as the big, puffy clouds await the company of my spirit. I could only the imagine the view from the clouds on a day like today.


Cin said...

AP and I went to a life celebration ceremony once where everyone present walked in a funeral procession of sorts around the sanctuary behind a dixieland band. It was a really cool moment to see all these people celebrating this man's life through something that brought him so much joy (dixieland bands). I agree with you- celebration of life is way better than sorrow over loss.